But first, the Second Stringers: There were so many to choose from: George Clooney, Mike Farrell, Susan Sarandon, Martin Sheen, Charlie Sheen, Ed Asner, Tim Robbins, Ashley Judd, Harry Belafonte, Roseanne Barr, Jane Fonda, Ted Turner, Robert Redford, Ed Begley, Carlos Mencia, Matt Groening, Bruce Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi, P. Diddy, Richard Belzer, Cameron Diaz, Seth MacFarlane, …
Our three main criteria are 1: Advocacy of insane progressive fascism, 2: Overall Obnoxiousness and 3: Hypocrisy. The industry is packed to the rafters with left-wing idiots who roll down the windows of the limos long enough to shout “Eat the rich!” and then drive back to their Malibu beach estates without any conscious awareness of the irony. So, we’ll set aside the washed-up, ineffectual, and blatantly insane for now, and skip straight to Hollywood’s Moonbat A-List.
8. Alec Baldwin. Jonah Goldberg predicted that Alec Baldwin’s obit headline would read, “Alec Baldwin Dies, Thought Electrodes Would ‘Taste Good.'” His amusing Hulu.com commercials and what I am told is an entertaining performance on 30 Rock (not a fan) don’t make up for unprofessional snubbing of Sarah Palin on SNL, his failed stint as a talk-radio host, or his
threat promise to leave the country if GWB were re-elected… which he failed to fulfill.
7. Jon Liebowitz: Every night, he sits behind his little Daily Show anchor desk, making his little dopey faces, ripping on Republicans while his audience hoots and applauds like trained seals. As a fake news host, this smug pus-bag isn’t worthy to carry Dennis Miller’s jock strap.
And then he does that douchebag move where he’s happy to be lauded as a journalist and wallow in self-importance, until someone calls him on something stupid he said, and then he indignantly claims to be just a comic. Like any well-trained leftist, he dodges accountability faster than Vince Vaughan dodges the wrench thrown by Rip Torn in Dodgeball.
6. Barack Obama: He’s been on the cover of P eople magazine multiple times, as well as Rolling Stone, Men’s Vogue, Vibe, and many, many others. He is so vain he named his dog after his own initials. He did cocaine. He’s ridiculously thin. He has no talent other than reading scripted lines off a Teleprompter. You tell me he isn’t a celebrity.
5. Sean Penn: Spicoli is BFF with Hugo Chavez and allowed himself to be used as a progandist for the Iranian Terror Regime. While he loves foreign despots, his hatred for the United States is deep and loud. In accepting his 2006 Christopher Reeve First Amendment Award, he launched into a deranged rant against the Right, accusing President Bush of trafficking in methamphetamines and putting out “a contract killing on a pregnant mother.” He has also ranted about… “those who bathe in the moisture of your blood-soaked underwear…” whatever the hell that means. He admits to sexually molesting an Ann Coulter doll with lit cigarettes. He is not a well man, but to give his hatred some context, his father was Leo Penn… a Hollywood writer outed as Communist during the McCarthy Era. The nut doesn’t fall far from the tree.
4. Rosie O’Donnell: Oh, Dear, where to begin. “Gulf of Tonkin! Google it!” is a good place to start. She used her stint on ‘The View’ to spout 9-11 Conspiracy theories based on her belief that fire can not melt steel, which came as quite a shock to the people of Pittsburgh. Note also, her obnoxious performance at the Matrix Awards, using language more suitable to the locker room at the LPGA Tour than a public awards ceremony. And just to wrap it up, some mention of the hypocrisy of calling for zero tolerance gun control while hiring armed bodyguards to protect herself and her own. Loud, stupid, and hypocritical… she’s a celebrity moonbat trifecta.
3. Bill Maher: Has essentially the same gig as Jon Liebowitz, sit in front of an audience of trained liberal seals and spout the smug homilies that make them clap. But his obnoxiousness is orders of magnitude higher: Maher makes no secret of his hatred for people of faith, says Americans are “too dumb to be governed,” and has wished for Rush Limbaugh to die of a drug overdose. He calls American troops rapists, but called the 9-11 hijackers brave. He proves my theory that the biggest douchebags in the world are those who sneer that they don’t need religion to tell them how to be moral people.
2. Janeane Garofalo: She is the exemplar of Rush Limbaugh’s Undeniable Truth of Life number 24; a bitchy, unattractive woman who has made a fortune in Hollywood by bitching that unattractive women can’t make money in Hollywood. She’s on 24, for some reason. I think it’s because she auditioned to be a corpse on CSI but lost the gig because she couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut. After getting kicked off Air America for turning her show into a Scientology Infomercial, she most recently washed up on Keith Olberdouche’s show ranting that Tea Party participants were racists. She prattles on a lot about the “limbic brain” in the belief that talking about a brain will make people think that she has one.
1. Barbra Streisand: C’mon. Who else am I going to pick? But, SRSLY, the woman demands rose petals in her toilet, 120 peach colored hand towels for each performance, and very specific floor lamps in her dressing room. She demands her hotel bed be elevated a precise number of degrees above the floor. Working with her has been described as “Having a picnic on an airport runway.” This champion of the socialist left, who proclaims herself proud to be a liberal, won’t let her staff look her in the eyes. The typical leftist who claims to care about ‘The People,’ but hates actual ‘people.’