One of the best parts about being on the Right is all the best humorists are on our side. So, read on as, Iowahawk takes on Janet Napolitano. Satire. Sweet, sweet juicy satire. Imagine if Chairman Zero’s DHS produced a Red Scare-type propaganda film warning the youth of today about the dangers of Constitutional Fundamentalism. It might go a little something like this…
Hello, I’m Homeland Security Director Janet Napolitano. Do any of your classmates nod off in class during various Cultural Awareness Weeks? Does the soda jerk at the local malt shop complain about his FICA withholding? Have you heard rumors of unsanctioned, not-for-credit protest marches?
If so, you may be face to face with a Constie. Don’t panic, and remember the 4 steps: (1) Stop, Drop and Roll. (2) Duck and Cover. (3) Cover your ears, and scream “Teabaggers! Teabaggers!” (4) Call your local Department of Homeland Security office to clear the area. Practice with your friends and teachers, and pay attention during the weekly school drills. It’s up to all of us to stop the Consties, because the next victim could be you… or you… or YOU.
SRSLY, someone should film this in black and white and put it on YouTube.