Or, should I restate that as “Ten Features of Left-Wing Protests You Didn’t See At the Tea Parties.” Some of these may have happened in a limited sort of way, but they didn’t characterize the protests the way they do when MoveON, Code Pink, and International ANSWER throw a shindig:
1. Hideous Geriatric Communist Skanks flouncing around in stupid pink outfits. Supposedly, Code Pink did plan to show up in Santa Monica. I don’t know if they actually did. I guess they support what Obama is doing because the complete bankruptcy of the USA would end our ability to project military power permanently.
2. Rabid Anti- Semitism. There were some RuPaulians at some of the protests. And in any crowd the size of the tea parties, there are always a few bad apples. But what you didn’t see was open Jew-haters parading around and being cheered by fellow protesters.
3. Mass Produced Protest Signs. Because the Tea Party movement is a grassroots movement, not an Astroturf movement funded by George Soros and run by professional activists.
4. Vandalism of public and and private property commited by violent punks cowering behind black and green facemasks. That’s just not how we roll.
5. Open Hatred for America, Freedom, and Capitalism. SRSLY, can you imagine how many people would have kicked this lily-livered punk’s ass if he had shown up at a tea-party with a sign like that?
6. Big Stupid Puppets. I don’t know where hippies got the idea that papier-mache equals gravitas. Tea party protesters… having jobs and families and such… don’t have the time to spend weeks in advance of a protest making dumb puppets.
7. Drug-Addled Hippies Reliving the 60’s. Because the Tea Party crowds were made up largely of people who work for a living and haven’t fried out their brain pans with elective pharmacologicals.
8. Sympathetic, supportive media coverage. No, quite the contrary. The Tea Parties get sneered at by the LA Times, and are covered by Married with Children’s Marcy Darcy haranguing protesters with DNC talking points.
9. Nitwit Attention Whores and washed up celebrity has-beens. People who love the attention they get by slamming their own country.
10. Inflated Scrotum Guy. Because who cares about national bankruptcy and out-of-control government when you can walk around naked in public with a quart of saline pumped into your junk.