When the Lightbringer Gets the Munchies, Doritos Just Won’t Do

That Chairman Zero, remember when he castigated Americans for our lavish extravagant lifestyles of driving SUV’s and keeping our thermosthat at 72 degrees? But the Chairman, he’s such a man of the people, such a regular guy. And just like all us regular guys, he flies a private chef from St. Louis to Washington just to make him a pizza.

When you’re the president of the United States, only the best pizza will do – even if that means flying a chef 860 miles.

Chris Sommers, 33, jetted into Washington from St Louis, Missouri, on Thursday with a suitcase of dough, cheese and pans to to prepare food for the Obamas and their staff.

He had apparently been handpicked after the President had tasted his pizzas on the campaign trail last autumn.

Can you imagine the carbon footprint of that pizza run? But hey, when you get the munchies, only a handmade pizza from a private chef flown in from 860 miles away will do.

"And then the Obamassiah tore the arugula and said, 'This is, um, my uh, um, body. Take and, um, eat.'"

"And then the Obamassiah tore the arugula and said, 'This is, um, my uh, um, body. Take and, um, eat.'"

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