What a UAW Contract Looks Like

22 Pounds of Regulations

22 Pounds of Regulations - Labor Pains

22 Pounds, 2,217 pages, and 71 MB of inefficiency and cost added to every UAW unionized worker in America.

I have it on no good authority that the breakdown of the contract is as follows:

  • 666 Pages defining benefits to “workers,” including time off for the holidays of  Christmas, New Year’s, Thanksgiving, Flag Day, Karl Marx’s Birthday, Halloween, Valentine’s Day, President’s Day, MLK Day, V-J Day,  Ramadan, and Monday.
  • 1,000 pages outlining tasks that management may never, ever ask a unionized “worker” to perform.
  • 150 pages listing the steps required to fire a UAW worker. If any step is omitted or not performed to the satisfaction of a Labor Judge, the union “worker” is entitled to immediate, permanent retirement at full wages for the rest of his life or until the Detroit Lions play in a Superbowl, which ever is longer.
  • 280 pages — “worker’s” rights under the grievance process
  • o.5 pages — Management’s rights under the grievances pages.
  • 38 Pages — List of acceptable reasons for employees to take a fully paid day off including “I don’t feel like it” and “There’s rain in the forecast.”
  • 22 pages —  Suggestions for workers on how to use their fully paid down time in the Job Bank, including the contact information for Democrat politicians that may be in need of “volunteers”
  • 5 pages — Plagiarized from one of Neil Kinnock’s Labour speeches
  • 55 pages — List of Democrat politicians receiving union kickbacks.
  • 1 page — Text in ancient Sumeric, praising the Dark Old Ones and welcoming their return.
  • 2 words — Union concessions to management. One these words is “Up.” The other is possessive pronoun.
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1 Comment

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One response to “What a UAW Contract Looks Like

  1. ILoveCapitalism

    More and more, I get the feeling that I am living in the really bad parts of _Atlas Shrugged_. Even the spamfilter over at the GP blog is out to crush my spirit.

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