In Case of Accidental Poisoning, Read This Post

Pick the most nauseating tribute to the Dead Kennedy:

  • Harry Smith, See BS News: “Over five decades, Ted Kennedy carried the torch passed on by his brothers, for civil rights, for the poor, and for the sick.”
  • Katie “Turd Measurement” Couric, See BS News: “For nearly half a century in the Senate, Ted Kennedy spoke for the people who had no voice — the poor and the disabled, children and the elderly.”
  • Bob Schieffer, See BS news: “In a sense he was the classic American hero.
  • NPR’s Nina Totenberg: “He’ll be remembered as a truly Shakespearean figure: tragic, flawed; who in the endachieved redemption through greatness.”

You’d never know that this saint had left a woman to die in his car while he strategized over how to prevent her death from obstructing his political career, had sexually assaulted waitressses in a DC restaurant, or had donated less than 1% of his considerable income to charity.

Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.

Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.

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